How does Sex Coaching work?

As a sex coach, I help you to
... become clear about what you want for your sexual and intimate self;
... translate those desires into goals;
... find steps of action to achieve those goals.
Because you are the expert in measuring what realistically fits in your daily life, you decide the steps. They can entail a variety of exercises, sexercises, writing, reading and/or watching erotic work, spiritual practices etc. We will periodically review your goals and adjust them accordingly.

I support
... whatever desires and goals you wish to bring forth, as long as no one is harmed;
... the boundaries you wish to establish;
... your process of unveiling and growth, by functioning at my best capability as a sounding board, a mirror and an advisor.
In short, to Embrace the Erotic.

Sex Coaching is different then therapy

Coaching works with goals and intentions, for which we develop strategies and actions. We don't exclude 'the inner life,' but unraveling the past in detailed stories is not the focus. Coaching can be an excellent combination with therapy models. In some cases, I may recommend other forms of therapy before beginning the coaching adventure.

 

Who am I looking for?

Sex-coaching doesn’t have pre-requisites.
There’s no need to be in a love-relationship to do sex-coaching.
After all, our sex and love relationship begins with ourself.

 

Sex Coaching Philosophy

Through the sexual experience humankind is given a path to travel deep within themselves and the Lover.

 

I believe that sexuality deserves a life long exploration.
Sexuality in itself doesn’t change. But we as people change as life continues and so does our relationship with sex and what we desire from it.
Most of us start out with the most obvious aspect of sex, the physical.
Some of us wish to explore its connection with our emotional world.

Some of us wish to explore its connection with the spiritual.

Some of us love to talk sex and sexy, and some of us wish we could.

To me, all aspects of sex are important.

1. Body - Body wisdom
Bodywork has taught me the physical language of sex. I like to work very closely with the body, even over the phone, because bodies don’t lie.

2. Emotions - Claiming the rightful place for emotions
Many of us are forced to set our feelings aside, in order to fulfill the demands of life and work Though a legitimate strategy, there comes a point in a sexual/intimate relationship when this craft turns against us.

      Most of us who stop having sex don’t stop because our bodies don’t want it  anymore, but because we don't know how to deal with the emotions that come with a deepening relationship.

      

Rather than analyzing emotions when they arise, we will explore ways to give them a place, to express them, so that they can transform within the whole of your being, in close connection with the body.

       (click for examples on “Peace and War Begins in Bed” or “Sex, Emotions 

         and Gates,” “G-spot/P-spot-massage”)

3. Intellect - Communication and Understanding

Understanding the dynamics of our body, heart and soul help to understand our own reactions and those of our partner(s).

Verbal communication is one kind of communication available to us in the exchange of sex and intimacy. For many people, this is the hardest one of all. Sex coaching provides an excellent and safe arena to practice articulating and communicating the things we are not used to express.

4. Spirituality - Invisible Energy/Sexual Energy

Since the making of this site, the integration of this aspect has evolved into an easy-to-do, pleasurable practice, called 'the Libido Compass.'

The Libido Compass serves as an inner guide in pleasure and life. It uses sexual energy (to many known as Kundalini) in a simple, yet profound way; it is an adaptation for the Western lifestyle, with its fast pace and complex demands.

I'm presenting the Libido Compass is in my book Full Spectrum Sex,

Map 1: the Libido Compass.

Please visit Xtasia's twin website www.libidocompass.com (soon to be installed) for an introduction to this revolutionary tool that brings sex, science and spirit together in one word and one sensation: Libido.

Being present in the moment
‘Being present’ is one of the core practices of sex, of meeting the Lover, within and without. Whether it makes us look down and dirty or high and ecstatic - all parts of us belong.
Within the framework of coaching it means that often, rather than following a pre-scheduled plan, I invite us both to show ourselves as we are then and there.