Sex, Emotions and Gates

Following is an excerpt of a story of a women’s sex-class in Xtasia.
Sylvana, a mah-nushay Hora, is massaging Guri. Her at this point gentle massage, demonstrates a way to prepare for stimulation of Guri’s Zumah, the G-spot.

(...) Suddenly Trudy tore the silence in the room, yelling, “I can’t stand all that vanilla softness anymore! You try to make us believe that women are made of egg-shell! Come on! We aren’t going to break the minute someone blows on us! Can’t you just move on instead of having to always listen first, feel first, hold still a million times? It’s driving me crazy!”
With much noise she stood up from her chair and stomped to the couch at the side of the room. Sylvana looked up but didn’t interrupt her touch.
After two minutes of leaving the group pregnant with expectant tension, she replied calmly, “No.”
Trudy screamed, “What ‘no’?”
Sylvana, “I can’t just move on. And it isn’t vanilla.”
Trudy, “What isn’t vanilla?”
Sylvana, “Gentle touch is more threatening than hard touch for many people.” She had held her concentration in her hands. Now she held them still.
“Feeling, Trudy.” She said it softly but urgently. And after a pause, “For many of us nothing is more scary than feeling our feelings. The slower we touch, the more there is to feel.
“Trudy, I don’t disagree with you. Women are not eggshells. Sometimes we like raw and rough and fast. But most of us know the hard and pushy way, in fact we know the hard and pushy so well that gentle is the unfamiliar.
“I would go crazy if all sex I had was soft and gentle. But you know, the opposites are not ‘hard’ versus ‘gentle.’ The opposites are ‘meeting’ versus ‘not meeting.’ If you go gentle on me, but you aren’t present or only follow your own agenda, you bet I’ll kick you. And if you go hard on me without knowing what you’re doing, big chance I’ll slap you. What I’m doing in this class at this moment is showing something else besides the pushy way. If her body wants me to touch harder, I will. But as a start usually ‘soft’ tells me a whole lot more than ‘hard.”

Gates

Gates are as much a part of human sexuality as Pleasure.
If ‘opening-up’ is the Pleasure-side of sex, ‘closing-down’ is the Gate-side of sex. No-one can be open all of the time. No-one can be closed all of the time. We need the dance of both.
Gates are protectors we need to listen to. Gates make bellies tight, vagina’s close, penises go flaccid. Gates make lovers avoid intimacy, hate sex, pick fights. Gates will express as irritation, fear or hurt. Gates will say, ‘Slow down!’ or, ‘Stop!’or, ‘Hold still, but don’t go away’ or, ‘This is enough’ or, ‘I need to cry now,’ and so on.
Gates are allies, they show us paths deep into ourself.
Most of us resist Gates, because they interrupt our happily going along.
Some Gates are small and will open with little, but right attention. For example, through slowing down, or a hug, or the right word. Some gates are strong, in need of close attention and patience. Sometimes a Gate asks to let the act of sex rest.
At all times, Gates need the acknowledgment that something is bothering, even if we don’t know what.
Whatever size or strength our gate has, finding the lock and the key, letting the mystery unfold, will bring us parts we didn’t even know we possessed, and will allow us to let go of parts we don’t need any longer.
Gates and Pleasure - the dance of becoming Sexually Whole.

       Gates, the G-spot and Prostate Gland

       G-spot and prostate gland are physical storage-places of emotions. This is

       the reason why sometimes we recommend massage on these areas with the 

       intentions to explore and let them speak. Contrary to ‘usual sex,’ we’re not

       after mutual arousal, mutual satisfaction or even orgasm.

(To view a G-spot-massage guideline, click here)